The other day, a very good friend of mine asked me what I was going to do with my life. I just looked at him, and said "I'll work here forever." He's been getting on me for years about going back to school. For those of you who don't know, I dropped out of college in my sophomore year. I had a 4.0 GPA and was ranked 2nd in the entire college. I won awards. People knew who I was. So why did I drop out? I hated it there. I never wanted to go to that school in the first place. In high school, I got accepted to every college and university I applied to. I received over a half million dollars in scholarships. I got accepted to Princeton. I could have gone anywhere I wanted to. Instead I was told by my family that I could not go away for school, which left Saint Peter's College as my only choice. I was miserable there from the start. I always had a perfect GPA, but I never worked for it. I was put it in a writing class with juniors who had repeatedly failed the class, in hopes that I could somehow teach them what the professors had been trying to teach them all along. I wanted to go to school to learn, not to have to teach others or to be held back from moving ahead because no one else could understand ANYTHING. After a year and a half, I finally gave up and left.
I never really explained my real reasons for leaving to anyone until recently. I didn't want people to think that I think I am better than anyone, because I don't think that at all. It was just extremely frustrating for me on many levels. I lost a lot of my faith in people during college. I realized that very few people were on my level, and I certainly couldn't find any there. Now, since I am 24, going to the Ivy League schools that I once dreamed of are out of the question. I don't want to be stuck in the same situation I was in before. That's why I haven't gone back.
But anyway, I don't think my friend is going to leave me alone until I go back to school. He insists that I am the most intelligent person at my job, even though I act like I am not. When I told him he was smart, too, he said "Sure I am, but I have to work my ass off for it. You don't even have to try. It's natural for you." In my heart, I know that he's right. I just don't want to accept it. My family has told me so many times that I need to stop thinking so highly of myself, that I'm just as dumb as everyone else. I guess I started to believe it.
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Do you know how bad I wanted to kick your ass when you dropped out of SPC? Not because of it being a great college or anything, but because I know you. You're one of the smartest people I know. Ever since you dropped out I have been hoping you will go back. Hell the grades I get, while I'm more than happy with them, I have to work my ass off for them, you can get them without even trying. Lemme put it this way, I have a 3.89 at Loyola right now, you would easily have a 4.0 putting in half the effort I do.
ReplyDeleteAnd why are excellent schools out of the question? Just because you're 24 means nothing, you've got the grades to barter yourself anywhere.
As far as your family? My Jeep...I'll pay for any repairs after the fact....
They're just jealous, dude, srsly.
You have the intelligence to do whatever the hell you want to, you just need to stop listening to the dumbasses and believe in yourself...I remember the days when you did. I know you love the people you're with, but your intelligence is being wasted where you are. You can do so much more than that.
You never want to kick my ass. WTF are you talking about?
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I don't really feel like doing anything now. I just want to work dead end jobs for the rest of my life. It's easy that way.