Late Blooming Rebellion

You know how they say teenagers have a rebellious stage? I think I'm going through mine now, at the age of 24.

During the past few weeks, I have told my mother off numerous times. It felt great afterward. I had no regrets about it, either. Lately I have just been saying exactly what's on my mind. No more holding it in, and no more hiding my feelings. When someone is interrupting my TV show, I tell them to shut the fuck up. When someone is making fun of me, I tell them to get the fuck over themselves. I think I may continue this trend for the rest of my life. I love it.

On another rebellious note, I'm getting a tattoo. I haven't gotten it yet, as I am still tweaking the design a little. I am getting a tattoo of a phoenix on my upper back, with the Latin phrase "Luctor et emergo" underneath, which means "I struggle and emerge." I think it is quite fitting and meaningful to me personally. I want to overcome everything. This will remind me of that goal.

Then, there are rebellious acts which I am, somewhat, ashamed of. I have been having unprotected sex with a guy (and yes, he has a girlfriend). I have fallen in love with him, but I doubt the feeling is mutual. I don't even know that much about him, yet I continue to have sex with him like it's nothing, I never even thought to ask him to use protection. I never even asked if he was clean. I should know better, but I'm not using my brain. There is also a chance that I could be pregnant. As much as I try to put it out of my mind, it's stressing me out. Maybe I've gone too far. Maybe I've lost control.